50 Years of Marriage

In two short months my parents will celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary (June 1st). It's hard to believe. I can remember both sets of my grandparents' 50th wedding anniversaries (1974 and 1985-ish).

Frank in 1950

Frank Patterson was born in 1940 in a small town called Ivylog, just north of Blairsville, GA. About 1952 his family moved to High Point, NC.

Vanza in 1945

Vanza Davis was born in 1939 in Greensboro, NC not far from High Point. They met in 1961 while dad was in the U.S. Air Force stationed in Brunswick, Maine, and mom was working as a nurse at a hospital in the High Point/Greensboro area. Frank's father (Clint Patterson) had a heart attack, which in turn placed him under the care of a young nurse named Vanza. Dad was given a leave of absence by the Air Force to visit his father in the hospital, where he met Vanza for the first time.


By the end of the week they were engaged to be married, which took place a year later on June 1, 1962. After another year, my brother Chip (Frank Jr.) was born on May 27, 1963. It was another five years before I arrived, rounding out the family on Feb. 5, 1968. Chip was born in Goldsboro, NC where dad was stationed at Seymour-Johnson AFB. I was born in Decatur, GA - a suburb of Atlanta.

(L-R) Wes, Vanza, Frank, Chip - 1971

In 1971 we moved to Winston-Salem, NC so dad could attend Piedmont Bible College. He finished his five year degree in Theology, graduating in May 1976. Later that summer we moved back to Atlanta, GA. That became my parents base while raising financial support to become missionaries - to Brazil. However, in 1978, the political climate between the U.S. and Brazil waned, eventually causing a change in plans.

(L-R) Wes, Jalal Ahmed, Frank (ca. 1986)

At the home of Mr. Ahmed in Dhaka, Bangladesh

Mr. Ahmed was the Secretary of the Bangladesh Parliament

We moved to the S.E. Asian country of Bangladesh in 1979, arriving there on July 4. I remember my mom's 40th birthday the following month. I find it strange that I am now 44. It doesn't seem possible that 33 years have gone by so quickly.

Our family of 9, plus my 1st cousin George Davis

(L-R) George, Kaity, Frank, Vanza, Wes Jr, Ginna, Wes Sr, Morgan, Chip, Jully

Today our family has grown even more. Chip and I both are married. I have a son age 21, while Chip has two daughters, ages 22 and 20. The nine of us are scattered across NC and VA these days, but that's better than being scattered across two hemispheres - like we were for so many years.

I am very grateful for the parents and family that God has given to me. I love you, Mom and Dad. Thank you for everything! I'm looking forward to celebrating 50 years of marriage with you in a couple months.

Love always,

Wes

Simplicity is Relative

Simplicity is relative.

Speaking of "relative". Those of us who live in the world of genealogy research have often dealt with the struggles of explaining to interested parties (albeit a fleeting interest) at family reunions the degrees of relationship between them and some famous relative of yesteryear.


You've seen it. Come on now, be honest. For that brief moment in time your audience - Aunt Milly or cousin Billy or that brother-in-law who tried so hard to fit in - shows a heightened degree of interest in the story you've just imparted. Their eyes are wide open. Their smile extends from ear to ear. Inevitably, your story has once again led someone to ask that infamous question.

"How are we related to him again?"

So naturally you launch into the logical, generation by generation (impossible to miss) lineage that explains how this person - your audience - and the object of your story, cross paths within the same family tree.

The eyes are now glazed over. The smile has fallen ever so slightly into a sloping, sliding look of consternation. There might as well be a neon flashing light over their forehead shouting out loud "I don't get it! What did he just say? I don't want to say something and sound stupid."

And of course, you want to go ahead and say out loud, "I know. I just lost you, didn't I?".

And yet, you just explained that relationship as simply as possible. How else can you explain it?

Simplicity is relative.

With that in mind, I thought I'd share this story with you, just to put into context that genealogy researchers are not the only "industry" in which clarifying certain issues are next to impossible. The following excerpt is from a British Airways 1996 Memorandum. Enjoy.

Wes

"It appears some confusion exists over the new pilot role titles. This notice will hopefully clear up any misunderstandings.

"The titles Pilot-in-command, Commander, First Officer, Pilot Flying, Pilot-not-flying, P1, P2 and Co-Pilot will now cease to have any meaning, within the BA operations manuals. They are to be replaced by Handling Pilot, Non-Handling Pilot, Handling Landing Pilot, Non-Handling Landing Pilot, Handling Non-Landing Pilot, and Non-Handling Non-Landing Pilot.

"The Landing Pilot is initially the Handling Pilot and will handle the take-off and landing, except in role reversal when he is the Non-Handling Pilot for taxi, until the Handling Non-Landing Pilot hands the Handling to the Landing Pilot at eighty knots.

"The Non-Landing (Non-Handling, since the Landing Pilot is handling) Pilot reads the checklist to the Handling Pilot until after the Before Descent Checklist completion, when the Handling Landing Pilot hands the handling to the Non-Handling Non-Landing Pilot who then becomes the Handling Non-Landing Pilot.

"The Landing Pilot is the Non-Handling Pilot until the "decision altitude" call, when the Handling Non-Landing Pilot hands the handling to the Non-Handling Landing Pilot, unless the latter calls "go-around", in which case the Handling Non-Landing Pilot, continues handling and the Non-Handling Landing Pilot continues non-handling until the next call of "land" or "go-around", as appropriate.

"In view of the recent confusion over these rules, it was deemed necessary to restate them clearly."

Live What You Love

I am currently between jobs so I'll take a moment to post an update. Lately, work has been strenuous at best, so perhaps the ending of one contract job comes as a subtle blessing in disguise. My dad is recovering nicely after succombing to a heart attack two weeks ago. We're grateful that he is still with us and doing well. Our cat (Fluffy) of 15 years just passed away yesterday morning, and it seems we've lost a close family member. She was the only pet my son (age 21) has ever known, so she was truly a mainstay in our home. She was a great pet and we have many wonderful memories.

Fluffy loved to climb on my stomach or chest and knead away.

Of course, it made reading difficult, but who's complaining, right?

Thanksgiving is coming up soon, followed by Christmas and the New Year. Have you told a family member or a friend today that you love them? Life is short. Love is forever.

As I buried our 15 year old cat today in our back yard on top of the hill under the cherry tree, my mind wandered to those ancestors of ours from yesteryear. In past generations, our ancestors buried many a child or spouse on their farms. If the death and burial of a cat can rip your heart out so much, what then must it have been like to dig a grave on your own land and bury a family member - a person - someone you love and cherish?

And yet, that very story repeated itself thousands of times over the generations across this great country of ours. Graves long ago lost to time and erosion. Only memories now. Distant. Muffled. Gray.

From time to time, however, those of us who research our ancestors have the privilege to bring those memories - those personalities of long ago - to life. To front and center. Loud and clear. Colorful.

Have you considered writing a short story about an ancestor of yours? Think about it. It will bring joy and satisfaction to your heart in so doing. Who knows - it might just do the same for someone else, too.

Life is short. Love is forever. Live what you love.

WP